Happiness

Don't worry be happy; a phrase made popular by Bobby McFerrin's hit song released in the 80s. It seems that this simple phrase encompasses one of  the things that we are most obsessed with. Is it not the thing that we are all searching for, that motivates our actions and our thoughts? When you don't have it all you can do is want it and when you do have it all you can do is pray you don't loose it. But when did happiness become the ideal and the goal? It seems that there came a point when the desire for happiness surpassed our desire for truth and thus became an idol. I think that just like anything else happiness can be an idol and a dangerous one at that. It's like this mysterious ether that travels around touching some people and missing others. The reason why it's so dangerous is because there is no definite source. It's random and untraceable. Things that once made you happy can stop bringing you happiness. One of my favorite TV shows said it well:

"People get lost when then think of happiness. We're always thinking that someday we'll be happy; that we'll get that car or that job or that person in our lives who will fix everything. But happiness is a mood. And it's a condition not a destination. It's like being tired or hungry, it's not permanent it comes and goes and that's okay. If people thought of it that way they would find happiness more often."

I just love the part where he says it's a condition not a destination. The moment that we make happiness what we are working toward is the moment that we are let down. And that's why we have to have an outside source that is constant and 100% intentional. This reminds me of my 11th grade pre-calculus class with Mrs. Welk. Being that she taught in a Christian school Mrs.Welk liked to give Biblical integration for the math that we were learning. Although some chapters were difficult to integrate others had very interesting applications to our lives as students and as believers. She once described a sine curve as being our feelings and the x-axis as being the truth that God provides for our lives. Our feelings are always going to fluctuate up and down no matter what we do. We let our happiness be based on the situations that we experience in life and not definite truth. When we make the choice to be governed by the consistency and ultimate truth of God it gives us the ability to be freed from the never ending and unsatisfying search for happiness.

There is always going to be stuff in my life that causes my feelings to fluctuate, especially in this new environment but I can't be controlled by them. I have to fix my heart on the the true promises that the Lord has for me.

Dubious Honors

My senior year one of the newspapers (which was really a tabloid) in Kiev started showing up regularly on the tables of McDonald's for our weekly Sunday afternoon meals. Almost every week we would come in and see the new copy of BLIK waiting for us to read and laugh at. They had interesting articles about love, fame and money all of which were very pertinent to our lives :) Our favorite section of the paper, however, was the horoscope. I would go around the table and read each person's horoscope in Russian and then we would try to decipher what we could from it. They were always very deep, telling us that it was a good week for love or that we had good things coming to us.
I was reminded of this weekly ritual when I picked up the C-ville today and turned to the "Living Free Will Astrology" section with the horoscopes. Although, I don't believe in horoscopes I thought that this week's for Leo was quite insightful. It reads:

Would you be delighted if I arranged to get an offshore oil-drilling rig named after you? Probably not. Would you celebrate if you won a prestigious all-expenses paid vacation to the hottest war zones in Afghanistan? I doubt it. So don't accept dubious honors and gifts like those, Leo. Be clear that you're not interested in ego stoke that are irrelevant to your long-term dreams. If you hope to get the prize you're aiming for, you will have to say a definitive no to supposedly good things that you don't really want. 

What a penetrating little post. It's so true that on a daily basis we are giving up our dreams or our ultimate goals for minor and fleeting recognition. It makes me think about the number of times I have let my beliefs get pushed to the back burner because there was something seemingly better coming my way.

It's also fascinating to note how this lines up with what the Lord has been showing me recently through his word. Last night at my RUF Bible Study we studied Romans 3:20-31. In this passage Paul is talking about how we are no longer under the law because Jesus Christ came to abolish it. He emphasizes living by faith and creating new standards for ourselves based on the grace of God manifested through Jesus. From this sprung the discussion of the standards that we are trying to live by. Obviously UVA has a lot of explicit standards to hold to and some unspoken ones that are at times just as powerful. Isn't it true that a lot of the time I am still trying to live up to the standards of UVA and simultaneously be sold out for Jesus Christ? But everything that I strive for that does not point to the Lord and his will in my life is fleeting and silly. Me striving for personal recognition and glory here at the University and elsewhere is like winning a luxury vacation to heavy war zones in Afghanistan- not that great.

So we need to learn to say no to those things that lead us away from the Lord and the ultimate prize of salvation. My prayer would be that everyday we would be lead by the Holy Spirit to invest in things for the glory of God's kingdom. When we truly live by faith in the redeeming and righteous power of God then we can learn to live with an eternal perspective. That perspective can lead us to be focused on the righteousness that the Lord calls us to and the eternity that He offers. So keep your eye on the prize.

The Start

I've been at UVA now for almost two and a half months. They have most definitely not been dull or uneventful in any way. Since being here I have learned how to make new friends, live off of only salad and cereal, sleep less than I ever have in my life, sing the good 'Ole song and grow closer to the Lord. It's amazing to think about how much has changed since I got to school and as a result of that how much I have grown. He has blessed me with a wonderful community to live in with my hall mates, bible study girls, dorm buddies, old friends and new classmates. It's been eye opening and it's been fun.

The first week that we are on grounds the school has a convocation ceremony for the first years that are entering the university. It's a very big deal, the president of the university is there along with other very important members of the faculty and student body. Speeches are shared and words of wisdom are imparted about our upcoming years at The University. I sat in the sun for about 3 hours for the ceremony so it is definitely something that I will never forget :) In all seriousness it was really special; something that I will look back on and think about what a cool school I went to. After the ceremony we sign the 'honor scrolls', which look like recycled paper with the UVA seal on it :), and head off to the presidents house which is less than a block away from the lawn. They had appetizers and lemonade for us as we mingled with our new classmates. At this point I am with basically the only people that I know at the university. (Keep in mind that me knowing them means I met one of them the night before, one went to my middle school but I am not even sure that we ever shared a conversation and the other I shared a few letters and facebook conversations with her. Let's just say you get tight fast.) This, however, did not keep me from sharing weird comments and being my charming self from the get go. :)
As the party progressed I became increasingly amazed at the fact that there were probably 15 hundred girls there ALL wearing dresses and not one person was wearing the same dress. It seemed impossible. Naturally i shared my observation with my friends who thought that was peculiar too. Just as we finish discussing my dress observation we turn the corner only to find a girl wearing the exact same dress that I was!!!! ( I think it might have been a different color, but that's irrelevant). I mean what are the chances?!?! I guess it just goes to show that my jinxing powers are still as strong as ever.
If that wasn't crazy enough the party just keeps getting weirder. So me and my girls are standing around when a guy approaches us and proceeds to ask us questions about what constitutes cheating and if his friend should break up with his girlfriend? We answer hesitantly. . . actually I don't think we even answered I think we just kept saying, "Um" and "That's weird." Then his wing man comes up and tries to help the conversation. After the initial awkward and inappropriate leading questions we start talking about where we live on campus. My friend Abby and I proceed talking about Brown college (which is a residential college in the middle of grounds that is known for the peculiar people that live in it) how weird it is, how it's the worst place to live, how we would never want to live there and the discussion goes on and on along these lines. Then I turn to our new acquaintance and ask, "Where do you live?"
"Brown College" he replies. Needless to say the conversation ended shortly after that.

Things I took away from the second day at school:
1. Brown College is THE BEST place to live- tell everybody. I actually know a few awesome people that live there as I am sure most of the residents are. Brown guy wherever you are- I'm sorry.
2. Keep more observations to yourself- maybe they won't come true.
3. The president has sweet digs
4. My cup- a memento
5. Friends- Kathryne, Abby, and Christine
6. An optimistic view of what life at UVA was going to be like.